This is SO irritating.This freaking laptop is so anal. -_-


I am in the 'hate thyself' mode today.I hate the freaking way I feel.And how I look. Like,absolutely FUGLY.Why do humans emote?WHY?! I wished I never went to creative,never went to Yuying,never stepped into St Margaret's.I wished I never treated anyone as friends. I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN.OR A f*CK*NG STILL BORN.Heck,same difference.

The thing about making friends,is that no matter how close one is to the other,they will part one day.And really,that sucks.Cliche,but who gives a damn?That's the way I feel,and no one can change that.cause that would be their opinions.none of my business,and I don't care.

Thing about the creative issue,I wish I had just shut up,never befriended anyone, never went out with them.Cause it all feels as if the bond we shared,was all based on the O levels we had to take.And well,now that that is over,so is the 'bond',I guess.AND I HATE THAT.I thought I was friends with goose cause we clicked,but now I am starting to wonder,why the initial bond?Why had I fallen for that again?Why do I trust people?As for lazy,I don't even want to call him a friend,and I daresay he never treated me as one.Groundy?His nonchalant attitude towards everything used to bug me,but now I think,whatever.It's his call.

And I didn't belong to the group anyway.They are all scorers,I am nothing.Yeah.Like triple sciences,pure chem/bio.Pure chem/phys.What the hell am I?FREAKING combi sci. wth was I thinking when I mingled with them?I dug my own grave;wonderful.

Yuying was the place where I once thought all my friends were.There are some there, of course.Not to say that I don't treasure them.I do.It's just that I am sort of mourning for those that I had thought of as true friends,but never made the effort to keep in touch.So now when I look at my autograph book I used to treasure,I realize the human nature.Leave wonderful memories,great imprints.As to whether the contents are sincere expressions of thoughts,well that is another story.


It's difficult to let go,but I'll try.
It's difficult to let go,but I have to.
I don't want to,but for you I will.


I don't wanna like you more than a friend does
But I can't control the way I feel.
I didn't wanna fall for you,
But that is life's cruel joke.
I didn't ask to have a crush on you,
And I never would if only I could choose
Cause all that it is,
It is decreed that I'll have to let you go.
AND no shit,
This is gonna be the most difficult thing I'll ever have to do.
To give up without trying
I may regret someday.
But if that means the best for you,so be it.

Amandaz;[26101991]
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